Chapter 9: Connection
Brooke watched apprehensively from her perch atop a chest as Avery shut the heavy wooden doors. She could feel her heart racing, and not just from climbing the approximately fifty thousand stairs up to Avery’s room. The bedroom was immense, with high vaulted ceilings and one whole wall to her right entirely made of glass with double doors opening onto a large veranda. There was a king sized four poster bed behind her with a thick natural wood frame. To her left were two doors that presumably opened into a closet and bathroom. The room was minimally decorated but there was an abundance of houseplants. Small trees in large pots, hanging baskets full of wandering vines, even a hanging garden at least six by six feet on the wall next to the balcony with smaller leafy plants each growing in its own pocket.
Avery turned back towards her, hands in her pockets, keeping her distance. They stayed that way for several seconds of tense silence. Avery wouldn’t meet Brooke’s eyes.
“So,” Brooke said at last.
“So…” Avery started, trailing off.
Brooke waited for her to say something, anything else, but she seemed at a loss for words.
“You’re a werewolf.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yes,” Avery replied, staring at the floor.
“When were you planning on telling me?”
“I-I don’t know,” Avery’s voice was shaking for the first time since Brooke had met her. “Soon? I- Well, honestly, Rachel’s not completely wrong. I have been avoiding it.”
“I’ll say,” Brooke scoffed.
“I’m so sorry you found out like this. I wanted to tell you myself, when the time was right. I just- couldn’t see to figure out when that was.”
“Sometimes there’s no good time to talk about something. Just less bad ones.” Avery nodded, eyes still fixed on the floor. There was no doubt in Brooke’s mind that her contrition was real, but Brooke still had questions. “So that- was that, earlier, that was you and Rachel?” She was fairly sure, but she had to confirm. Avery nodded. “Pretty obvious which one is which.” Avery almost cracked a smile, almost. “Why were you fighting? Isn’t she your best friend?” Avery frowned, wringing her hands til her knuckles turned white.
“Of course she is!” She took a shaky breath. “But this is a… strenuous time around here. Both our Alpha,” she pointed to her own chest, “and our Beta finding their mates a week apar an them both being human is… Let’s just say it’s been destabilizing.”
“I thought that that whole alpha beta thing was disproven years ago.”
“In actual wolves, yes. We’re people who just so happen to turn into wolves. So it’s different. Probably has more to do with the Eurocentric obsession with Greek and Latin than anything else.”
“So you and Rachel were fighting about, us?”
“Sort of,” Avery shrugged. “I was mad at her for telling Alex before I had the chance to tell you.” Brooke nodded. “It wouldn’t have gotten so out of hand only… she said something that, ahem, set me off.”
“What did she say?”
“It was nothing, really Just a passing thought. She didn’t even really say it.” Avery was stalling. Brooke may have only been18 but she had enough experience to know when someone was trying to shield her from an unpleasant truth. And to know she would rather face it head on than prolong the inevitable.
“Tell me.” Avery sighed, finally meeting Brooke’s eyes, gold flashing.
“She said something about you being weaker than Alex.” Brooke squinted up at her, brows furrowed.
“Physically I am a lot weaker than him. But that’s not the only kind of strength.”
“I know, I know,” Avery said more to herself than Brooke. “It’s just that our culture has always prized strength in the conventional sense. Sometimes to a fault. Rachel didn’t mean what she said. I know that. I wouldn’t have actually hurt her…” Brooke thought she heard a silent ‘probably’.
“You know I’ve heard stuff like that most of my life, right?”
“I know.”
“Teachers, doctors, other kids. I’ve been called weak in pretty much every way possible.” Avery’s eyes flashed. “I’m pretty used to it by now.” Avery’s fists clenched at her sides.
“I know.” She looked like she was struggling not to hit something, but she took a couple deep breaths, and her posture relaxed some, her eyes fading back to their usual golden brown hue. Brooke was glad Avery still had her back to the door, but she wasn’t nearly as scared as she felt like she should have been. In fact, she realized, she always seemed to feel exponentially less anxious, stressed, and worried when she was with Avery. Was that a werewolf thing? She figured she’d start with a simpler question. “So, what powers do you have, exactly? I mean are we talking more Wolf Man or Twilight?”
“Those are, movies?” Avery raised one eyebrow. “I’m the real kind of werewolf. We’re strong, fast, we have superior hearing and smell, we heal faster and metabolize more quickly than humans, we can speak nonverbally, but only within a certain distance, and we can turn into wolves, obviously.”
“Sounds awesome, can I get some of that?” Brooke wasn’t really joking, despite her tone.
“No. We’re born this way, not made. I’m sorry.” Brooke didn’t try too hard to hide her disappointment.
“And your eyes?”
“They glow when we experience strong emotion. Or when we shift. Which, for a lot of us, is the same thing.”
“And you can… shift, whenever you want?”
“Depends on the person. Some have more control than others. But with enough practice, yes, whenever we want.” Avery slowly held out a hand to her side and Brooke watched openmouthed as the fingers shortened, fusing together and sprouting thick black fur until she held out a large clawed paw. Brooke barely blinked as the fur retreated once more, revealing the tattoos underneath and the warm brown skin Brooke was familiar with.
“Incredible,” Brooke whispered.
“I have more control than most.” Alex had said to trust her emotions. And right now, despite how illogical it seemed, all Brooke wanted to do was cross the distance and trace every line of the tattoos that told a story, and finally hear what they meant. Still, there were more questions, weren’t there? Her brain was foggy and not improving. “And the full moon? Is that just a myth?”
“Not entirely. We can’t take human form during the full moon. It’s a very… spiritual time for us.”
“You keep saying ‘us’. How many of you are there?”
“In the world or in my pack?”
“Both, I guess? Wait- your pack?”
Avery nodded solemnly.
“Yeah, I’m the Alpha. Uh- the one in charge, of this pack. We all live in this house, that’s why it’s so big. There are 48 of us, 49 once Ariel has her baby.”
Brooke’s eyes widened. “There’re so many of you! And you’re so young! Or do you just look young?”
“There used to be more. But yeah, this is still the largest pack in North America.” Avery didn’t sound especially proud of her pack’s status. “I am actually 20. Leadership in our society just- works a little different than it does for humans. Survival of the fittest.” Avery spat out the last sentence.
“And you’re certainly that.” Brooke couldn’t believe she was flirting at a time like this. The more information she learned, the less scared she felt. For some absurd reason she had a deep conviction, despite how illogical it was, that Avery wouldn’t hurt her. And all her other feelings for Avery hadn’t gone anywhere. If anything, they grew stronger the more Brooke learned about her. Avery still hadn’t moved. She just stood, as perfect as if she’d been painted by a straight Michelangelo. Brooke took a deep breath, then patted the chest next to her. Avery’s head snapped up at the sound, and she met Brooke’s eyes. Her golden gaze was so filled with fear and worry that Brooke felt a pang in her heart. Although that might be the POTS. She still hadn’t fully recovered from the climb up.
Brooke tried to scoot over to make room but lost her balance. She felt herself teeter precariously to the left, and she started to fall. Strong arms caught her, grasping her forearms tightly, steadying. Brooke felt warm tingles spreading across her skin from the contact.
“What can I do?” Avery asked, her voice filled with concern. Brooke’s head was spinning.
“Uhm, I don’t know,” Brooke said, her thoughts foggy. “Help me lay down?” She was acting on instinct. No space in her brain for anything but symptoms. She felt herself lifted up, then set down gently on a soft blanket. Her eyes were closed but she could feel Avery’s body heat next to her. “Would you mind getting me some water?” Avery was back before the warmth dissipated from the spot where she’d been crouching.
Brooke opened her eyes and tried to sit up a little, and Avery was there, one arm supporting her shoulders, the other holding a cup up to her lips. Brooke drank deeply, taking the cup from her. After a few minutes she felt much less dizzy, and her head was clearer.
Avery still knelt by the side of the bed, one hand resting on Brooke’s forearm. She could feel warm tingles dancing along her nerves.
“What is that?” she asked.
“Hmm?” Avery said dazedly. “What’s what?”
“That sensation, when you touch me.”
Avery’s eyes widened slightly. “That’s sort of… a side effect,” she answered haltingly.
“A side effect of what?” Avery took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, then exhaled.
“Of us being mates.” Brooke was confused.
“What? Wait, you said that before, right? Like soulmates? That’s awfully romantic of you.”
“Not in the way you’re thinking. Mates are fated partners who are bonded together when they first meet. Two people who are, perfect for each other, I guess you could say.”
“How do you… know?”
“We just… do. DO YOU REMEMBER HOW YOU FELT WHEN WE FIRST MET?”
“Of course.” Brooke wasn’t likely to forget anytime soon. She had been so distracted she’d forgotten to go back to class afterwards. “I see what you mean.”
“Some people believe that our mates are given to each other by our Goddess, others think it’s just fundamental to our nature. A trait adapted to make us stronger by giving us certain, lifelong companions.”
“Lifelong?”
“Yes. You’re stuck with me. For better or for worse.” Brooke didn’t want to admit how comforting that was.
“I used to be pretty lapsed in my faith. Until recently. I’m not sure that the Goddess makes mates or what a possible scientific explanation would be otherwise; but I’m grateful that it happens.”
“And is it typical for your, mates, to be human?”
“It didn’t used to be. But when more and more wolves were killed by hunters, we evolved to mate with humans in order to preserve our species. Nowadays the population has bounced back somewhat, so only about one in ten wolves have human mates.”
Brooke nodded, processing. “Why do I sleep better when you’re with me?”
“Mates tend to feel at ease around each other, especially with-” Avery traced her index finger in a line up Brooke’s arm, leaving a warm trail. “-skin-to-skin contact.”
Brooke sighed.
“I like that,” she said, pulling Avery’s left hand up to cup her cheek and delighting in the sensation. Brooke raised one eyebrow, smiling slightly. “Anything else I should know?”
“There is, actually.” Avery trailed her hand down Brooke’s jaw, then further until her fingertips rested on the spot where her neck met her shoulder. The same spot where Alex’s strange marks were.
“Just tell me.”
Avery sighed, looking guilty. “Mates are compelled by their bond to… mark each other.” She looked down. “Right here.” She pressed her fingers lightly into the spot on Brooke’s neck.
“What exactly does that mean?”
“It’s stupid, actually. In theory, it’s meant to tell other wolves who you’re mated to. It changes a person’s smell to partially mimic their mate’s, and, among other things, it’s a visual reminder of one’s possession of their mate.” She spat the last words out.
“And is it actually, a bite? Like it looks like?” Brooke’s heartbeat quickened and Avery moved her hand to her shoulder, pushing the neck of Brooke’s shirt up to cover the spot.
“Yeah. It is.”
“But Alex’s seemed fully healed.”
“Not completely, but it will heal much faster than a human wound. It’s not messy, at least.” Avery didn’t say anything else about it. Brooke was scared but also strangely intrigued at the prospect. She didn’t hate the idea of people knowing she was Avery’s girlfriend at a glance. Or a smell, she guessed. This whole werewolf thing would take some getting used to. But she knew how she felt about Avery. Maybe they were magically induced feelings, but wasn’t all love magic in its own way, or chemistry, depending on how you broke it down. Who could say which one was more real?
Brooke liked the way Avery made her feel. Elated, giddy, sexy, safe, home, cared for, needed. Those feelings had been so rare in her life that she wanted to hold onto them. She decided she didn’t care too much about the metaphysical minutiae.
“Come here,” Brooke said, and pulled Avery into a deep kiss.
“Don’t you want to ask me more questions?”
“Not right now. Right now, what I want is for you to come here.” Brooke grabbed the collar of Avery’s t-shirt and pulled her in for another kiss, this one longer than the first. Brooke parted her lips, and, after a moment’s hesitation, Avery accepted her invitation and deepened the kiss. Her lips were soft and supple, her tongue dancing with Brooke’s.
Brooke slid one hand slowly up Avery’s side, reveling in the thrills of pleasure she felt everywhere their skin touched, and delighting in the knowledge that Avery felt the same way. Avery moved so she was hovering over Brooke on the bed, propped up on one arm. Brooke slipped her hand up under Avery’s shirt and slowly trailed her fingers upwards, following the lines of her tensed abs, to find her breasts, her nipples already hard. Brooke circled one with her index finger, teasing, and Avery gasped, finally breaking their kiss.
Avery sat up, reaching down to pull her shirt up over her head and throwing it across the room. Brooke propped herself up on her elbows, admiring the view. Her girlfriend really was perfect; wrapped in wiry muscle, her skin soft and warm, spotted by the sun; her long black hair curling in a halo around her sharp-featured face; her tattoos bleeding over her arms and shoulders in that spiky, organic scene. Brooke wanted to trace every single line of them.
Brooke pulled her own shirt over her head awkwardly, not having the core strength to hold herself off the bed. She hadn’t bothered to put on a bra that morning and just then she was grateful for it. When she turned back, Avery’s eyes were shining gold and the look in them was hungry. Brooke crooked one finger, smiling. Avery lowered herself down and as their bare chests pressed together, Brooke gasped at the feeling. She wrapped her arms around Avery, her hands tracing the lines of the muscles on her back. Their lips met once again, and the tingles spread throughout Brooke’s torso, making her giddy.
“Mmmm,” she moaned against Avery’s kiss, putting one hand on her shoulder and pushing gently. Avery pulled back immediately. She opened her mouth to apologize, or something, but Brooke shook her head, pulling her legs up to her chest and using the leverage to slip her sweatpants off and toss them over Avery’s shoulder. She didn’t want any layers of fabric separating them. Avery followed suit, using her werewolf speed to roll back onto her back, yank her shorts off, and roll back to Brooke, all in the space of a breath.
Avery grabbed a blanket, pulling it over the both of them as she lowered herself back down. She used one arm to prop herself up while the other massaged Brooke’s breast expertly, her lips trailing kisses over Brooke’s jaw, down the side of her neck, and stopping at the spot where it met her shoulder. The spot where her mate mark would be. Avery sucked on the spot gently and Brooke arched her back in pleasure. Avery pulled away suddenly.
“I promise I won’t. Not until you’re ready.”
“I trust you,” Brooke said, and pulled her back down.
Brooke didn’t know how long they stayed there, lost in the flood of sensations buzzing through her nervous system. Brooke was shocked back to her senses when one of Avery’s elbows rolled onto a strand of her hair. Brooke couldn’t contain a wince at the sharp pulling pain, like needles poking through her scalp. Avery, predictably, overreacted, jumping back so fast that she almost fell off the bed.
“Shit, Fucking hell, I’m so sorry.”
“Relax,” Brooke said, readjusting her hair with one hand and reaching out the other to Avery. “It was an accident. It happens.”
“I should have been more careful.”
“Every single person I know has accidentally caused me pain. Most of them on several occasions. It happens. Come here, I’ll show you.” She beckoned, patting the bed next to her. Avery looked wary, but complied, scooting about a foot closer to Brooke, but still leaving space between them. “Give me your hand.”
“What are you doing?”
“There’s been an awful lot of me trusting you today. It’s your turn to trust me.” Avery nodded, extending a tentative hand. Brooke took it in hers, guiding it up to the side of her face. “Here.” Brooke moved Avery’s hand so it cupper her cheek. “Here,” her jaw, “And here,” the side of her neck. “Are all fine to touch. Brooke pushed herself into a sitting position. “Anywhere my hair grows…” Brooke ran a hand through Avery’s tangled black curls, loosening knots with her fingers. “… and these parts of my face,” she ran her fingers over Avery’s forehead, her dark brows, then her sharp cheekbones, “… are all more sensitive.” Avery nodded, her eyes glowing dimly in the darkening room.
“Now you know for next time.”
“Now I know,” Avery said, nodding again. Brooke pulled her in for a swift kiss.
“Why do you keep your hair so long if it’s that painful? Jade keeps hers short just out of convenience.” Brooke considered before responding, rubbing one long blonde strand between her thumb and index finger.
“I did buzz it short once. It was before my dad left. He was already giving himself and Ethan crew cuts and I wanted one too. I was maybe seven, and I liked the idea of us all matching.” Avery listened attentively. “I loved my short hair. Until I went back to school. I got a lot of weird comments. Mostly from other kids’ parents.”
“Like what?”
“Like saying I would be mistaken for a boy with a boy’s haircut.”
“That’s stupid. I mean on their part, not yours.”
“Yeah, probably. But it left an impression. I wore hair bands compulsively until it grew out. Just so everyone would know I was a girl.”
“I doubt you’ll have that problem nowadays, my love,” Avery said, her eyes glowing as they raked over Brooke’s curves. “And certainly not around here.”
“What, did you send out some psychic message to the whole pack when we met with my preferred name and pronouns?” Brooke asked, jokingly.
“Of course,” Avery replied, straight-faced. “Why wouldn’t I? What other purpose to us all being able to communicate mentally if not to share pertinent information?” Brooke chuckled. She guessed she would get used to stuff like this eventually.
“I started growing it out longer after I came out. There were so few out gay kids in my school that being a lesbian became my whole identity to some people. I didn’t want to be seen as a walking stereotype.” Avery nodded knowingly. “I guess I also felt like all my symptoms already attract enough unwanted attention, so when I can I prefer to blend in.”
“ Well, I wouldn’t count on that strategy, considering you’re drop dead gorgeous no matter what you wear. Anyone with eyes is going to want to gawk.” Brooke grinned.
“I’ve thought about cutting it tons of times, I just never seem able to pull the trigger. Force of habit, I guess.”
“I mean, I think you’d look hot with any haircut.”
“Speaking of hair, you should wash yours or it’ll be a rat’s nest tomorrow morning.”
“You’re not wrong about that.” Avery paused. “Will you stay here tonight?” The tentative hope in her tone made Brooke smile.
“I’d like that. But all my stuff’s back in our dorm room.” Avery cocked her head to an odd angle for several seconds, her eyes glazing over.
“Rachel’s already planning on going over to get Alex’s stuff. If you make me a list, she’ll get yours too.”
“You just were talking to her… nonverbally?”
“That’s right.”
“Trippy.” I have all the time in the world to get used to it, Brooke thought as Avery tossed her an oversized t-shirt. She leaned back against the pillows, tucking her legs under the comforter. She gave Avery her list, most of which was already in her book bag, and Rachel was back with it within the hour.
A couple hours later, Avery brought up dinner from the kitchen, wherever it was buried in the bowels of the massive pack house. They ate in bed while watching a movie, and Brooke’s body and mind were grateful for the rest. It had been a long day. Settled in close to Avery’s side, head resting on her shoulder, none of it seemed to matter to Brooke. She was content just to sit immersed in her girlfriend’s presence.
Eventually Avery pointed out that they should get some sleep. They both had classes the next morning. Brooke fell asleep with her head resting on Avery’s breast, one leg thrown across her girlfriend’s hips. She had never slept better in her life.