Definitely fireworks are one of the things I wish was now permanently removed from my perception. Unfortunately even though I can no longer see them, their annoying, skull-rattling, PTSD-triggering, way too close to gunshot noise is all too obvious to my hearing blind self. And my dog. Personally my PTSD is not triggered by sudden noises of most types, but my migraines sure are. And my dog is a whole different story.
My rescue dog was sixteen months old when I adopted him. Before that time, he was shot at least twice, maybe even by his abusive first owners. How do I know? He has multiple calibers of shrapnel in his body visible on xrays. And he’s triggered as fuck by any explosive noise. Like he won’t feel safe, and will refuse to go outside even if he really needs to pee because he’s so scared all he can do is bark at the noises and hide behind me. He once squeezed all 120 lbs of his precious self into a six inch gap between my chair at the dining room table and the wall behind it. For almost an hour he laid there because he was so scared he couldn’t be anywhere but right behind me, even just for the time it took me to eat dinner. When he does get to sleep, explosion noises are a recipe for nightmares. I notice and wake him when they come, which is not often, unless there are rampant triggers. His fear is undderstandable given, you know, he’s been shotmultiple times. He learned hard and early just how dangerous and potentially deadly those sounds can be. And he can never unlearn that any more than I can pull the shrapnel from his flesh with my bare hands, no matter how hard I love him.
Ironic that on days we claim to be honouring those who’ve been put at risk of being shot are also the days we engineer the biggest most unavoidable PTSD trigger for anyone whose trauma involves firearms. Personally, I’m all for drones replacing fireworks. Same visual spectacle, if not moreso, without the pollution, both noise and environmental. In the end, it just doesn’t seem worth the visual for a few seconds to produce so much waste, anxiety, and inconvenience.
I grew up in Seattle, on Capitol Hill. I remember the first time I was old enough to walk the mile and a half to go watch the fireworks over lake Union. They were pretty, but my dad had to hold his hands over my ears. It definitely wasn’t worth the hike, I remember thinking even back then. Especially when some drunk people on a rooftop started shooting off the kind of fireworks made for large bodies of water, not close city streets. They were loud as fuck and raining embers down on the street below. One landed on the sleeve of my sweatshirt and started to burn through and I watched it and panicked and my dad had to pick me up and basically run me the next two blocks out of their range. Does this scary memory make me biased? Probably. My phonophobia and love for beings with sharp sound triggers definitely do. And rightfully so. I would love to see fireworks go mostly out-of-fashion in my lifetime. Or at least find a place to live where they’re only in the distance. Wherever that is. I’ll let you know if I find it. Until then, the next time you’re about to light fireworks, think of the sound-sensitives. We’ll really appreciate it. The people, babies, kids, adults who may be sleeping nearby. Who might need the rest, have something important to do tomorrow, or just want some peace and quiet in their own homes. Consider what’s around you. Are you being safe and respectful? Is there dry grass nearby? Other people or animals? Other potential hazards?
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